I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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