we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You left your phone here
Wait...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
