It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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