My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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