dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
