It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
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You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
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You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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