i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
