Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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