the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
