i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
