would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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