last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
