this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
