Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
