she was so not down for the gang bang
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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