idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
