I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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