Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
