hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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