But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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