He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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