It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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