if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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