I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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