The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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