i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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