On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
