You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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