if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Naked Twister starts at high noon
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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