how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
