I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
