Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
