I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
