I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
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I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
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I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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