Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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