You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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