I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
