thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
