when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
