and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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