i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
