What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
