I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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