why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
