wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
