i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
