Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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