If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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