i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
