I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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