mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
