Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
