I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
