Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
