how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
