You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize