Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
