I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize