So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
