I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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