Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
