he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize