I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it hurts more in the daytime
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
