Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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