Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
