it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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